Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Get the Masked AMHP™ App This Christmas!

 
Just in time for Christmas, the Masked AMHP™’s extensive team of Tech guys have completed the brand new, shiny and indispensable Masked AMHP™ App!
 

One of the Masked AMHP's Tech guys

Crammed with useful tools for the busy Approved Mental Health Professional, you won’t know how you ever lived without it!

The Masked AMHP™ App comes preloaded with a fully searchable database consisting of the Mental Health Act 1983, the Code of Practice and the Reference Guide, as well as all the associated Statutory Instruments! Wahey!

The Masked AMHP™ App also has a fully searchable database of ALL the relevant case law associated with the MHA and the Human Rights Act! Woohoo!

But that’s only the beginning!

Once you’ve downloaded The Masked AMHP™ App onto your mobile device it will solve ALL your AMHP problems!

Section 2 or Section 3?
You’ll never be stumped by this conundrum again! Just point your mobile device at the patient, and it’ll automatically identify which section you need to use. The Masked AMHP™ App will then autocomplete the Section forms and wirelessly transfer them to the nearest printer!

MHA or MCA?
Never fear making an error in discerning whether or not the Mental Capacity Act might be preferable! The Masked AMHP™ App will make the decision for you!

Is the patient Mad or not?
Simply point your mobile device at the patient, and The Masked AMHP™ App will automatically identify whether or not the patient is mentally disordered! (Warning: Still in Beta stage)

 
 

 

Who is the Nearest Relative?
Simply input a list of suspects into your mobile device, and The Masked AMHP™ App will instantly identify who the nearest relative is, and will then autocomplete the section form with a cast iron reason why it was impracticable to consult them! Guaranteed to stand up in Court!

Where’s the nearest hospital bed?
Using advanced GPS technology, The Masked AMHP™ App can instantly locate a vacant bed anywhere in England or Wales! Even the ones the bed managers are hiding!



Problems getting a Section 12 Approved Doctor?
The Masked AMHP™ App can not only identify which local Sec.12 doctors are available, but will also text them with an irresistible reason why they need to attend! Even when they’re on holiday, or simply can’t be arsed!


Tormented by ambulance delays?
The Masked AMHP™ App can hack into your local Ambulance Trust’s system and place your request at the top of their priority list! Simply input an address and postcode and an ambulance is guaranteed to turn up within 15 minutes!

All this and even more!
  • Nurse AMHP’s, OT AMHP’s, Social Worker AMHP’s – who’s the best?
  • X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing?
You won’t know how you ever lived without The Masked AMHP™ App!

 What people have said about The Masked AMHP™ App:

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” Mark Zuckerberg

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” Bill Gates

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” Richard Jones

11 comments:

  1. I was so upset that it's not fully compatible with the Ice Cream Sandwich software on my inferior Android tablet and the App doesn't appear to have the Welsh or Manx Codes of Practice. Of course a smart phone just doesn't have the 'heft' of a Jones manual, which can be important at moments of extreme crisis but digital literacy helps staff to appear cool to some of the more impressionable F2s and House Officers.

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  2. This is inspired! hilarious, I love it.

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  3. Well, if only heh.. thanks for bringing a smile to a tired AMHP!

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  4. That's great - but what about the alternatives to admission finder? Merry Christmas!

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  5. Can it make the police unquestioningly obey my every command?

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    1. You want the moon on a stick, don't you?

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  6. I am on AMHP duty tomorrow- thanks for cheering me up just in time!

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  7. Genuine laughs!
    Not that there is ever mobile coverage when you need it.

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  8. Awesome.. if only...

    A frustrated AMHP.

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